We might not agree on the perfection of the way the world is set up. I was just watching some interviews with addicts and their stories are horrible. I’ve read one of the best and most sophisticated examinations of the problem from the perspective of a man who has reached the highest level of understanding of anyone I’ve read is the book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Dr. Gabor Maté. In his book Dr. Maté takes us to a deeper look at addiction from his own relatively less serious addiction (buying classical CDs) to serious street addicts. The difference is that street addicts use more drastic drugs to hide the problems of trauma and self-loathing and, of course, the working-class nature of these serious addictions. The other factor of course is that certain drugs are illegal which makes them expensive and causes addicts to scrounge for money and pay multiple times what the drugs actually would cost if they were legal.
My point here is that many people whether they are addicted to porn, alcohol, crack, heroin, gaming, or whatever have the same problem—unresolved trauma, pain, and self-loathing often as a result of their addiction which further causes themselves to hate themselves for failing to live up to their image of success whether it is caused by social conditioning or not. My point here is that everyone, at all times, is perfect as a spiritual person and their path always makes sense no matter how destructive it might appear. That does not mean an addict should continue with their addiction but there is no way to end addiction unless the pain is dealt with. In the US, in particular, the philosophy is to make people suffer more and thus they will be “scared straight” an idea that is and has been utterly discredited as a method. Yes, in the short term, fear may motivate people to stop their addiction but eventually they will find their way to some other addiction or a return to their previous addiction. Fear brings are consciousness back to the limbic system which is incapable of wisdom or insight just flight or fight. Prison, for example, helps sometimes, to stop an addict if that prison does not have a thriving drug trade and it makes sense in many circumstances but then the prisoner is out of prison with a record that makes it very difficult to find work particularly work that would lead to promotions. Drug offenders cannot get student loans and are always distrusted. It takes a positive turn perhaps a religious or spiritual experience and a lot of regular therapy from a highly intelligent and able therapists who are not that numerous since, for those who are poor, are always underpaid and often inexperienced.
The answer to all this is, of course ever present, and that is love and compassion. We need a social system that automatically values people not for their money (money is the final arbiter of all moral values in the US) but for who they are as a whole. Most of us represent a lineage, a set of positive and negative attitudes that we picked up from those who have caused us pain or brought us happiness—usually a mixture but always unique to a culture, tribe, or family. We in the US often think we can escape our upbringing and “start anew” but the road to truly starting anew is much more difficult than most of us understand. We have no choice but deal with the results of our upbringing, our culture, our traumas, our values and so on. For some this is not hard because they are able to live on the surface. To climb the career ladder by finding ways to make money for their corporate bosses looks, on the surface, as a good thing but that corporation may be making toxic substances and be corrupt and destructive to the environment but we ill ignore it because we have to make a living and the best livings are made by playing along with the corporate or governmental agenda which is often destructive. For example, if you go in the military and kill a lot of people but believe you are doing it because you are “defending our freedoms” and are told that by most people you meet that does not mean you are “good” because, in fact, all the wars the USA has been involved in since WWII have been fought for reasons that have nothing to do with protecting anyone but the oligarchs in charge. I know this is one of the taboo subjects in our culture where worship of the military and the use of physical force to further an agenda is almost on the par with the virtue of money.
Whether the toxicity is based on killing people, or exploiting others, or producing carrying out destructive (to society) policies in government or the corporate world where financial shenanigans and speculations bring the greatest rewards, it is the same thing. We are traumatizing others and ourselves though we don’t feel it because of the fact our society enforces living on the surface and not looking deeply into life. But, usually, this living on the surface produces strange cravings and desires and various addictions. Most of them are legal, most of them can be easily bought and afforded.
The biggest addiction I see is shopping and entertainment as a way to ease pain or not think about the incredible contradictions each of of us lives with. This is particularly the case today with the stunning growth of technology as place to go with pushing our addiction to various chemicals our body produces. We produce chemicals like dopamine—when someone “likes” us on social media, or even when we start clicking links, little surges of this chemical are produced which make us feel good; oxytocin—the hugging drug happens when we hug or when, for some people, a baby smiles, or when we watch a sentimental movie about love and it all works out or even; serotonin—which gives us the feeling of accomplishment or domination which can happen in fact accomplishing something you really want and getting approval whether real or in a gaming or virtual situation; and endorphins—usually associated with working out or just being in pain. When I was a child I went through a time of feeling sorry for myself as a way to “hug” myself (since I had no hugs). I remember when the rush of oxytocin particularly if I was crying and then I’d feel better.
Anything that makes us feel one way or the other can be addictive and most of us are addicted to something. Addiction can only truly stop when we meet each moment on its own merits and we stop living largely meaningless (often even when we find “meaning” it is often a fantasy meaning), materialistic, and fearful lives—this can change however so don’t lose heart. Finding true meaning and being in the moment are practices not ends. Thus none of us should pay any attention to whether or not we’ve met our goals or even approximate some goals of clarity or enlightenment. If we do, we’ll never feel good. As we practice techniques that work for us with determination our lives will improve quite a lot.
